Today was truly a day of mixed emotions lots of tears, with sadness, anger and thankfully laughter, yes laughter something that had been non-existent in ages.
We were told that the type of cancer that Tony had, that following treatment he would have a 95% success rate of surviving. With such a high percentage everyone was filled with optimism that he could beat this.
We were given a choice in treatment, we could go down the tried and tested way which would be 6 months of chemotherapy, or we could elect to go into a medical trial scheme which basically meant that we would be randomly selected for various other types of treatment all involving chemotherapy.
This we were told would hopefully have the same outcome but would help new protocols improve.
It was not an easy decision at all to make and as Tony was nearly 16 I felt it only fair that his feelings should be taken into consideration and that it should be a joint decision.
Although I was not completely happy we decided to elect for the Medical Trial, Tony was adamant that he wanted to help other children…
The treatment that was randomly selected was a 3 month course with stronger drugs. We had been told that some of side effects of the chemotherapy would be hair loss and sadly probably leave him infertile.
It made me mad that all the consultant seemed to be worried about was the infertile side of things and was insistent on him providing a sperm sample for storage for the future. He made a strong case for Tony’s future by saying that he would be glad that he had done it when he got older. Although I could see the logic in this I was just desperate to get the treatment started, but until he had provided his sample, chemotherapy would have to wait.
So Tony decided that as he was going to lose his hair anyway he would have it shaved off now! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, here was my boy with his ‘curtain’ hairstyle stuck to his head with hair gel, asking to have it all shaved.
The Clic social worker lent us a camcorder to record the event and one of the male nurses called Richard came in on his day off and did the business!
Some of the conversation was x rated but we were all crying with laughter as we were told what to expect at the ‘sperm’ hospital.
So off came the locks and underneath emerged a young man, so very, very handsome. His eyelashes were so long that the young nurses were actually swooning over him. Gone was my little boy in one head shave , here I was honoured by being given the chance to see the man that he was growing into.
Oh God Tony I miss you so much darling…
Sorry readers I’ll have to stop for a break here but please come back..
Written by Mum
20 comments:
Just started to ready your blog. And, although I know it must be painful, I believe it's a great decision to share your story. It's important for other's to understand that "life is not all peaches and cream" . . and that death does occur unexpectedly ...and loss is felt deeply ....
Thank you very much for sharing ...Wishing the best of all possible worlds,
Iyengar Yoga teacher,
tony eason
Life in the fast lane of Iyengar Yoga teacher, tony eason
Life certainly has a way of throwing us for a loop and this one is a doozy. My heart goes out to you. It is at times like this when we find out our strengths and what is most precious to cherish.
i began ur blog thinkin "oh this is just another one" i ended up wanting to personally say how sorry i was for ur loss. and for those who r sharing ur story i would like to say: one should try chinese herbs, organic diet, ayurveda, exercises n not jus depend on chemo. i have seen a prog on Discovery Channel which espoused this.
i couldn't read it all, as going through this with a friend at the moment, but a lovely idea.
hugs
jo. (off m&b site)
What a very brave woman you are! I can not even begin to imagine what you have been through...This site is inspirational. I had tears in my eyes many times. Tony would be so proud you, Laurrie, his little nephew and the rest of your family. Jacq xxx
I can not begin to even pretend to imagine what it must be like for you. I found your story heart breaking to read and cannot even come close to thinking what it must be like for you to write. I hope it is helping you grieve and im sure it will be helping thousand of other parents in a simular situation to you. My heart goes out to you and each member of your family and can not express enough my sympathy for your tragic loss. Your son would be so proud of you and i hope you take comfort in knowing this! Keep his memory alive and forever feel close to him, he has not gone just simply passed into another room, you shall be reuntited in a better place, a place where such tragic illness's can not come between you! I wish you and your family the best in life and keep smiling the way he would of wanted his mum to be xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I have just read your blog and although i have never been in your situation i wuld like to send you a hug (((O))) and a smile :)
I hope you dont mind
cant think of words so sending some ((hugs)) god bless x leggit x
sorry for your loss
what a heartbreaking story you are a very strong woman xxxxx
I dont know what to say,there are no words good enough to describe you and your family!!
You are a very strong,brave woman and i admire you.
Im so sorry for your lose and im sorry about your your younger son too,all of your children are very lucky to have a mother like you.
they are and will be very proud of you.
I shall continue reading as you post.
Take care xx
As a mum of 2 boys, I can't begin to imagine the immense pain and loss your family and you are going through. I think by putting your experience on here, you'll be allowing thousands of others to understand the devastation cancer causes, and help some to also deal with their own painful loss. I admire your bravery and raw emotion you've expressed.
my heart goes out to you and your fanily. xx
how heartbreaking how can anyone find answers to why arwfull things like this happen life has given you and your familey the cruellest blow to lose your child i had a stillbirth but nothing compares to having your child for x amount of years to lose them i feel for you so much and hope you find peace untill you meet your beloved son again god bless you sweetheart xxxxxxx
i truley admire your courage and strenght through a time so hard for you and your family i think you are a very brave individual.
My heart goes out to you and your family x x
Anne-marie(off M&B)
hi there.
i just wanted to say that this is a lovely website and shows how much you love your family.
love jaclyn
I don't know what to say, your blog is a lovely memory of obviously a very brave little man. I read with tears in my eyes. I'm sure Tony would be so proud of you, and all his family.
What a very brave person you are, i think what your doing is wonderful and although it must be heartbreaking for you theres lots of people who feel for you and who feel the same and together you help each other and thats an inspiration to us all. i cant even begin to imagine what it has been like for you but i wish you all the happiness you deserve.
Take Care
Christina (From M&B Site)
xxx
Hi Sharon,
I just stopped by to see how you were doing. As always my heart goes out to you. I can feel your pain in every word you write. I hope that through the telling that you will find peace and closure.
Thank you for sharing. {{big hugs}}
What a sad day to remember, Tony's losing his curtain of hair. The only good thing were the laughs. It hurts to read that the doctors said Tony had a 95% chance of survival. I think you have helped so many people by telling your and Tony's story.
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